about johanna.
Honestly, I don’t really know what to tell you here.
My personal story doesn’t feel so important to me. Maybe a part of it is somehow of service to you though...
For many years, I had been on the spiritual path, having profound mystical experiences along the way, exploring different spiritual traditions and practices, and completing a Master’s degree in mystical philosophy.
And still, I was searching.
How to actually live it continuously, not just think about it. How to stay in touch with it in everyday life, instead of only having glimpses.
Then I was given a harsh grace: suffering.
I let this intensity bring me fully into the present moment. I stopped needing it to be different. Stopped fighting it. Fully met it with acceptance.
It broke my little self open and for quite some time after, I was just very drawn into presence. I spent hours in nature, in outer silence and inner silence, and kept coming back to what was actually here, right now.
Suddenly, there was so much peace, joy and fulfillment in the simple everyday things. Not because anything in the outside world had changed, but because I deeply realized that I’m not just this little self.
The I am, beyond the story of who I think I am. And I started to allow my little self to be moved by life instead of trying to move life.
And eventually, I felt the flow of life wanting me to share. I resisted that a lot. My little self really didn’t want to be seen, and I certainly didn’t feel like I had all the answers.
I still don’t. But I feel this is an essential part of it.
I’m not a guru on the cloud, having transcended all humanness. (Is that even possible, or necessary?) In fact, I deeply honour all the human mess and see it as a perfectly imperfect manifestation of the One.
I simply feel the flow of life wanting to move through me in this way. There is so much joy in simply speaking from inner silence, without knowing anything...
Thank you from all my heart for being here with me.
I don’t know exactly how or why life brought us together, but I’m deeply honoured to meet you here.
Much love,
In my case, it came as an overwhelming wave of emotional and mental pain after separating from someone my thoughts had labeled “the one”.
It brought so much pain and suffering to the surface that I reached a point where I simply couldn’t fight it anymore.
So I surrendered. I allowed the pain to be there.
P.S. Most of the pictures on this website were taken in the forest I’ve been visiting almost every day for the past few years, here in the heart of Germany. Maybe some of its quietness comes through.